I’m a big fan of being particular, particularly when it comes to creative endeavors. Each of us has things we like and things we don’t and lots of stuff to explore. Our interests and tastes change over time, and we gradually gain insight into very fine details of what makes us happy and what’s less enjoyable.

I can’t even tell you how many years I’ve thought that I’d really enjoy song writing. We’re talking several decades of dabbling, coursework and a ton of books on musical composition, another ton of books on lyric writing, donating the book collection a couple of years ago when we moved, and then a lot more music learning time spent this year. And you know what…

I do like making music. But wow, I really am just not into writing songs! It’s like drawing pictures of cats – great for other people, and beautiful animals, but drawing them is just not my thing.

It’s weird to suddenly realize that something you’ve always wanted to do isn’t what you actually want to do at all. Those are the times when you take another look back and see all kinds of hints that your path always pointed somewhere other than you where you thought it was pointed.

I really should apologize to my parents for spending the entire disco radio era in my room. My husband and I were watching YouTube videos the other night, compilations of TV theme songs from 70’s dramas, cop shows, comedies and one hit wonder TV shows. Almost all of the songs were familiar, but they were all for shows that I had never actually seen. My entire interaction with that decade of TV was hearing the theme songs as I trotted off up the stairs to go chill out and draw while listening to my ever-looping disco radio (and putting off doing my homework until the last minute. Mom, Dad & siblings – Sorry I was the antisocial kid!)

Looping patterns and disassociation from starts, stops and all sense of time. That’s something I have always enjoyed so much, and it’s no surprise that I groove to pattern in all of its possible forms. I don’t want to write songs, even for play – I want to create musical grooves to play in the background as I color and draw pattern. And I no longer feel bad at all about giving away all of those music composition and lyric writing books – hopefully someone who likes songs that start and stop will find them at the local library.

Today’s coloring is from Balance For Crayons And Wide Tipped Markers.